Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Feeling low

I am so frustrated today, i'm trying to lift myself up with prayer and positive thoughts but I just want to break down into tears. First off we get news that there are some issues with Griffin's custody. I can't go into details but there are some things preventing it from going through and we have now once again let Griffin down. For the last six years it feels as if that is all we have ever done, let him down. I know he is here now, getting what he needs but we are all tired of living our lives under a microscope like lab rats.

On top of that we heard from the school psychiatrist who along with the Autism & blindness she is most likely going to be diagnosed with a speech disability and what "used" to be know as Mental retardation but they now call "intellectual disability". As if the old diagnoses wasn't enough of a sword through the heart for us they have to tack on something else. We know Miriam is not like other children, we know she most likely won't have her own apartment, find true love, have babies or live in her own apartment. She is going to live with us for the rest of our lives. We accept that, but for some reason adding the Mental diagnosis on top of everything hurts and gives my faith a big kick in the gut. I know these are just words but as the saying goes, words hurt! Tomorrow I will be meeting with the psychiatrist to complete Miriam's assessment, I don't look forward to it because it feels as if I a walking my daughter to the end of the plank.

I hate labels and I hate CPS for hurting the good people while the bad people get away with abuse time and time again. I want to scream!

On a happier and more tasty note and because I like to drown my sorrows in food stop on by my Shoe Nation blog for a great delicious Vegetarian Lasagna recipe.

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