Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Is there change on our horizon? Wisconsin bound?
So recently Tom has begin telephone interviews for an amazing job opportunity at one of the biggest industrial machine companies in the world. We never imagined an opportunity like this one would arise but it has and with it comes the possibility of some tough & crucial decisions. The biggest being leaving everything we know here in Texas , including out family, which ALL live in Texas and traveling cross country to Wisconsin. He has had 2 interviews with a recruiter for the company so far and is getting ready to have his third with the head of HR for the actual company. If she approves him as being qualified, which is probable or he wouldn’t have gotten this far in the interview process they will fly him out (at their FULL expense) for an actual weld test. The weld test will then be the deciding factor in whether or not we move. I have all the faith in my husband, especially since he is very experienced and they are giving him a full day to practice. A part of me thinks the concept of abandoning everything should scare me but the only thing that scares me is trying to figure out how we are going to manage to pack everything. Do we keep it all or get rid of some of it and replace it later? That is ALL that scares me and Tom pretty much feels the same way. It isn’t that we don’t love our family, it is just that when a chance of a lifetime comes knocking at your door, you don’t just turn away from it, you embrace it! This is not the first time either of us has grabbed hold of a chance and held on for dear life. It is just the first chance we did it with children but not even that scares me.
I have researched Wisconsin and from what I have read they have TONS of job opportunities for Tom should we get there and this job not work out, they have an excellent school system, an insane amount of services for the blind and my daughter would never again have a seizure because she got “too hot”. We would have rain, white Christmas’s and a chance to enjoy life outside. Here in Texas we never get out because Miriam will be seized after an hour of the blazing Texas heat. When it comes down to it, the only thing that is worth staying for is family but family is also the reason to leave. As parents it is our responsibility to make the best choices for our children. Something about the idea of living in Wisconsin excites me right down to the fact that I am a packers fan , my favorite sport is HOCKEY and I LOVE cold weather. LOVE IT! I sleep with a fan in my face in the winter time here in Texas because it isn’t cold enough for me. And Tom, well, he has always said he hates it here in Texas. He tried to leave it years ago but couldn’t manage to stay away. I have a feeling, if we left, we would be gone forever, only to return once a year. Once a year is about how often we see our family anyway so we really won’t be missing out much. And when it comes down to finances, well, the company is paying for us to relocate so we won’t spend a dime!
If there is anyone reading this who lives in Wisconsin, tell me why or why not we shouldn’t make this move? Sell me!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The hardest thing!
Besides the loud fits from frustration, self affliction of pain and the fact we can't go out in public without fear of a meltdown do you know what the hardest thing about having a blind autistic 6 year old is? BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS SHOPPING! Not only do we have to contend with the fact that she is positively 100 percent blind to no end but we have to deal with the sensory issues of Autism as well. We can't buy her normal toys, they have to make noise or be textured in some way. But they can't be too loud and they can't be too much of a certain texture. We can't just buy something we "think" she might like, we have to buy something we KNOW she WILL like. Not liking something could end in said item being tossed across the room followed by a fall to the floor screaming fit if the texture upsets her sensitive touch or if the noise level was annoyingly loud to her. What is loud to her, is probably not loud at all to us and vice versa. With a child like Miriam there is no end to the chaos that ensues when out shopping. As her mother I literally go through moods. I start off with dread, followed by a renewed sense of assurance as I find a single item and end in tears because that single item is usually the only item I find. I feel like a bad mother, that I am not trying hard enough and at the same time I am angry for my child because I feel like she has gotten a totally bum deal. Most of the time I don't feel that way at all, just two times a year. I want her to be able to enjoy things like Barbie Dolls, Dora, Strawberry Shortcake and an easy bake oven. Before I became the mother of a blind child I always told my self that I would never raise commercialized children. I would never give into the branded toys and clothes but now I see the joy in those things. I see what something as simple as a Dora doll does for my other girls because I see how little it does for Miriam. I would give ANYTHING for her to say "I want a Sponge bob toy for my birthday!" because not only would she be easier to shop for but because I could see the pleasure on her face when she got it. Almost 7 birthdays and not once has my baby gotten excited about a present, not once has she even gotten excited to get one!
And before anyone tells me , I KNOW there are special stores out there to buy toys for blind children, places to buy toys for autistic children as well but we cannot afford to pay 100 bucks for a rag doll or 60 bucks for wooden blocks. And sometimes we don't have the finances in advance to hunt for hours on end online to have it here in time for her birthday. Christmas is a little bit easier because we do turn to online resources but it is still hard. Not only are most of the items we get expensive but she can't use many of the items for blind people, braille for instance is of no interest to her and as hard as it is for this mom to admit she will probably never know how to read it because the Autism will keep her from it. Autism was a very tough pill to swallow. I was the first person in the school yelling at her VI telling her my baby was going to grow out of her behavior just as many children with Septo Optic Dysplasia do . She looked at me like I was an idiot, undermining me the whole way but I stuck to my guns. I am not ashamed to admit that I was wrong so despite some of my families denial I shop for gifts to appease her autistic side as well as her blind side. Miriam is not a little bit autistic, she is severely autistic and that makes it even harder.
With all that said, this year I bought Miriam two sets of metal spoons in various sizes and a metal cake pan. Will she think I am insane, no, she will think it's the best gift on the face of the earth. She already sneaks spoons into her room and would walk around the house all day with one if I let her. Spoons and die cast meal cars are the two things Miriam loves best these days. The pan was something I went out on a limb on but I have no doubt that pan will be better than any old Barbie doll in her eyes. At the end of the day, after all is said and done, after I have cried my tears for my daughter she will end up showing me that in life it is the little things that truly matter. People have been saying it for years , the person who said it first must have had a disabled child because before I had Miriam, I NEVER understood exactly what that saying could mean.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Hawaiian Meat Balls
Hawaiian Meat Balls
MEATBALLS:
2 pounds ground beef
3/4 cup plain bread crumbs
2/3 cup evaporated milk
zest of a small orange
1/2 small onion (grated with zester)
1 1/4 tsp seasoning salt
2 dashes black pepper
1 1/2 tsp garlic powder
2 dashes ground ginger
1/8 tsp ground cayenne pepper
1/3 cup flour
3 tbs BUTTER FLAVORED shortening
DIRECTIONS:
1. Melt butter shortening in a large skillet on medium heat...
2. While oil is coming to frying temperature mix all ingredients together well except for flour and shortening.
3. Shape into meatballs (will make about 40 medium size meatballs)
4. Evenly roll each meat ball in the flour then place in the pan to brown on each side.
5. Remove from the pan and place the meat balls into a large baking dish or casserole pan.
6. Top with sweet and sour sauce, giving the pan a little shake to cover the meatballs evenly and bake uncovered for about 30 - 40 minutes.
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Sweet and Sour Sauce
1 20 OZ can of pineapple chunks
5 tbs corn starch
1/2 cup vinegar
2 tbs lemon juice
1 tbs juice of an orange (fresh from the orange you zested)
1 tbs soy sauce
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp garlic powder
1 green pepper (cut into bite size chunks)
1 4z can Pimentos , drained
2 dashes ground ginger
DIRECTIONS:
1. Drain juice from the pineapple into a measuring cup. Set aside the pineapple.
2. Add water to juice to make exactly 1 cup of liquid.
3. In saute pan over medium heat blend cornstarch into the juice until the cornstarch has dissolved.
4. Add vinegar, lemon juice, orange juice, brown sugar and soy cause.
5. Simmer, stirring constantly for about 5 minutes.
6. Add pineapple , green pepper & pimento. Simmer for another 3 minutes until the fruit/ veggies are well infused.
7. Use as according to directions above.
These are great served over rice as a main course or as an appetizer! They even taste great cold!
The Love Dare Day 1
THE LOVE DARE
DAY 1
Patience
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2 NIV
10:28 am I think today's dare is going to prove to be one of my most difficult yet. I have a little issue with anger and can tend to lean on the side of VERY impatient. There are moments where even the little things drive me crazy. Like this morning when I woke up to find he had already eaten both slices of the left over pizza without a moments thought to save one for me as I would have done for him. I am not a selfish person and selfishness is a big part of husbands personality. In 8 years I have never heard him say to me "hey honey, do you want this?". But I guess that is where acceptance comes in. If I haven't heard it in 8 years then perhaps I should stop expecting to hear it. I managed to ignore it, but I am not yet sure if that was because he isn't here & I lost my phone or because I was actually successful at holding my tongue..lol
Must remember:
"He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick tempered exalts folly" Proverbs 14:29
2:31 am So it seems this day wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. There were moments throughout the day where I felt myself becoming quick to anger or annoyed but I managed to hold myself together and brush it off. At the end of the day I actually feel good having a day without the usual marital drama (or the unusual). It was nice just sitting together without any animosity, hopefully I can pull it off again tomorrow!
"Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger" James 1:19
Art credit: Patience by Carol Knudsen
Friday, August 26, 2011
Earthquakes and Dares...
Over the past 8 years Tom and I have had our share of problems, many have been very serious, some trivial, all challenging in their own way. Through everything we have always managed to overcome. Considering the severity of some of the trials God has paved our path with that is saying a lot. I am not going to go into the trials we have survived together , that isn't the point of this post, the point is that it has shaken us regardless of our getting past them. Marriage is like an earthquake, an earthquake shows up out of nowhere, sometimes on a quiet night or a beautifully perfect day, it shakes the earth with all of it's might forever leaving a mark in one way or another. Be it destroyed buildings, stolen lives or just a few cracks that weren't there before. The damage is all up to the severity of the earthquake. However, it is possible, no matter how severe the damage to overcome the quake but in the worst cases it takes a lot of physical and mental work. I personally believe marriage is EXACTLY the same way. As with an earthquake you don't just run from the trials , in the rubble is your home and everyone deserves the comforts of home despite the damage. If you had a damaged home in an earthquake you would either rebuild with those you love or move on WITH those you love. You wouldn't assess the damage then leave your family on the roadside while you searched for greener pastures. You would gather them up and go through it all together, becoming stronger in the end having overcome the obstacle put in your path as a unit instead of alone. While Tom and I have gone through our trials together we HAVE grown stronger in many ways. But just like after an earthquake there is still damage, damage that will forever be present. You won't necessarily be able to fill ALL of the cracks in the earth but you can work as hard as you can to fill each and everyone. That is what you do in marriage each and every day , even when you aren't trying. Marriage is WORK but in the midst of all the work it also needs nurturing, something we tend to forget is necessary during the rebuilding process. Working on things does NOT always mean to nurture! And THAT is where Tom and I have gone wrong. We work so hard at "making it work" with "moving forward" and "forgiveness" that we have forgotten to nurture one another and in the end we aren't looking as great on the inside. We work so hard on rebuilding the exterior that we didn't leave any room for decorations!
And that leaves me to the bottom line of this post. Some of you might have heard of a little movie called Fireproof, some of you might have also heard of it's companion book called "The Love Dare". For the next 40 days, starting tomorrow I am going to be taking the challenge of The Love dare in an effort to nurture this marriage. I miss my husband so very much, I miss the long nights we would spend talking to one another & planning our lives. I miss the way he would smile at me out of the blue, I miss the way him simply walking across the room would make me pause. I still love him as I know he loves me, it is simply that we no longer love ourselves because nether one of us have put any effort into each other. It is amazing how when you are "together" you end up relying on each other to get through the day because you become one as a whole. But the past several years we have been too busy with the children, our home & mending fences that we together have become TOO separated in our togetherness. It as if we were two sides of a live oyster being pried open with a jagged knife. Anyone who knows how hard it is to open a seized oyster should know what I am talking about. We try with all of our might to keep our halves together but that knife just keeps trying to pull us apart. Unlike an oyster however we still have our will in the end.
Over the next 40 days I will be using this family journal to document the challenge of the Love dare. I don't know exactly what it is supposed to do but I have faith that whatever it is, it will work. It is time to start filling in the earth so we can find the together in our togetherness.
Monday, August 22, 2011
To homeschool or not to homeschool?!!
Since we decided to home-school Miriam last year it had always been up in the air about whether or not we were going to home-school Georgia and Sophia as well. We knew that no matter what we DID NOT want our kids in your typical public school setting. Not because we feel we are too good for public school but because we feel EVERYONE is too good for public school as it stands today. Classrooms are always so full leaving children without the fulfilling educational experience they NEED to thrive, so many teachers have given up because their hand are tied so tightly. The public school system itself has become overrun with officials who have political aspirations more so than people who have a desire to educate. And schools are simply TOO dangerous, I don't trust the education system to take care of my kids! We looked in to private school options and then we started looking into charter schools. Eventually the search led to a particular charter school which incorporates the Arts into a very strict education plan. I spent much of my youth in the world of the arts and I KNOW all too well what being a part of it can do to your self esteem, confidence and self worth and my children being a part of that experience has my wheels turning with excitement. After discussing it with Tom we decided that next year for Georgia's first year of Kindergarten we are going to enroll her. She is such a spirited child and I know with all of my heart that this is the kind of educational experience she would LOVE. The thing we love about charter schools is that the enrollment is limited which means "if" our kids got in they would have the type of one on one kids need in school. I LOVE the idea of having a public education "experience" on paper. Friends, rewards, homework, school activities, PTA, dances, sports...all things I want our kids to be a part of. It's the politics of it all that I hate. There is NO ROOM for politics when it comes to educating our children and creating productive intelligent citizens. When you have politics and education, education gets lost in the greediness of the race. I know no matter what we will never make this choice for Miriam but with her the ball game is completely different. Schools, none of them, are equipped to deal with an Autistic blind child, something we learned the hard way. She NEEDS one on one education. Actually the thought of it being just she and I eventually kind of excites me. I have a feeling it will be like opening the door to an entirely new world for her.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
A FRESH new year and a FRESH new UNschool!
It’s that time again, time to wake up early and get back into the rhythm of education.
Last year, our first year at home schooling we decided a typical classroom environment would suit us. I wanted Georgia to truly feel like she was in “school” because I felt I was denying her something Miriam had a chance to experience. This year I decided, I don’t want to do that , a “classroom” is purely mental and since I don’t intend on my kids ever being a part of a public education system they don’t need anything resembling a classroom. I want us to focus more on hands on education, free of worksheets, free of the stress of an academic system that puts too much stress on our kids. Lets face it, Miriam will be never be a child who will sit down and fill out a math problem on paper, she won’t ever learn to color in the lines and she certainly isn’t going to be able to see a logic worksheet. Miriam is not only blind but she is very much autistic, she can and will learn as she has shown us she can do but she isn’t going to do it by the book. She CAN’T do it by the book. I don’t see any point in wasting printer ink when I can be teaching her with things in the home that she can actually touch, feel and relate to.
I want to do things like taking my children into the kitchen to bake and cook our meals together, we can use food to teach all kinds of things from logic to math. I want to take them outside the house and let them learn everything they need to know by experience not by just reading about it in a book. I want them to learn how to read because we do it together as a family not because I am shoving flashcards in their faces. I want them to learn logic and math using things in our home not by using a different worksheet. How often in real life will they be handed a lady bug and told to count the dots? Last year I spent a lot of my time printing out worksheets, building weekly curriculum, keeping track of tests and numbers. It interfered in valuable family time together and I honestly feel limiting things like worksheets will help bring us together. It will also help me to teach our kids even better social skills by interacting in a hands on setting.
We will only be doing partial UN-schooling however, which for us means 4 days a week of 99% UN-schooling. Each day we will still be working on our phonics reading program for about half an hour and one day a week we will “play school”. We no longer have a classroom, I got rid of it and turned it into a play room but I did bring some of their classroom equipment/supplies into the living room where they will be utilized on Friday each week. We will do everything you would do in real school including worksheets and flashcards. We will utilize it to pull everything we learned the previous 4 days together. It is a chance for our mainstream children to physically see what they have learned and be physically rewarded for their work with stars and stickers like any other home school or classroom.
Here are a few things we want to focus on each week this year,
Cooking / Baking together
Silly play
Alphabet
Phonics reading
Number & counting
Out door fun
Logic activity
Educational Toy learning
Arts & Crafts
Music appreciation
Reading together
Spiritual education
Meditation/Relaxation time
Hands on Science
Exercise - Physical play
Health education
And much much more! This of course doesn’t include the one on one education we will need to give Miriam by herself such as speech and tactile activities.
In all I think it will be fun coming up with new activities we can do together to really push the aspects of UN-schooling. I want our entire day to be educational from the second we wake-up to the moment we go to bed. Television is going to end up being VERY limited as we find things we can do together instead such as board games and puzzles. Tom and I are both going to be working this together instead of just me taking the reigns. He can really teach the girls what it means to work with their hands with building projects and such. Someday when they are much older he can teach him his own craft. Needless to say, I am so excited about this coming school year!!!